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Guys, Help Me Decide, Should I Stay Or Should I Go!

Guys, Help Me Decide, Should I Stay Or Should I Go!

by November 11, 2014 42 comments

I Need Your Help

By: Tommy “Tj” Sotomayor

I am currently out in San Diego County, I am away from everyone and everything but it is beautiful out here.  The cons is that its far from everything and everyone, I will be living in a 5400sf home with 44 acres alone!  I cant get cable internet and Verizon is charging me 810 a month to use wifi which is slow, lame niggaz have already released my address on the internet hoping something happens to me!

The Pros, its beautiful, the views are sick, and maybe just maybe I could get my head back together.

I dont know what to do and I need your help in deciding!  Full disclosure, I went through a bad break up where I have been missing the hell out of that person as well as the companionship and I dont know if I should be out this far alone!  I have only 48 hours to decide!

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42 Comments so far

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  1. Robert C.
    #1 Robert C. 11 November, 2014, 20:05

    I think that you should do both. Stay to get away from the noise and go when you want to meet new people. what cured my depression when I was younger was going out and meeting new people and seeing new women, taking to them about different things. I been there before and the best way to defeat it is to see new people and mix and mingle with new people.

    #2 JC WILLIAMS 11 November, 2014, 20:06

    Tommy, you need to get your lady back and say fuck you to all the haters!

    #3 JC WILLIAMS 11 November, 2014, 20:08

    One other thing! We need you so get your mind right!!! PLEASE!

  4. major48
    #4 major48 11 November, 2014, 20:09

    Man in your line of work high speed internet is non negotiable. Your livelihood is online. Also you are paying $810 a month? WOW you must be extremely over your usage.

  5. nthompson856
    #5 nthompson856 11 November, 2014, 20:30

    I think you need to go to a different state Arizona Texas or wherever is not in California. From your post I see that you are already reluctant to stay there. I say leave you need to get out of Cali and get a place where there are more people around you. The cons are too much

  6. shawnrome
    #6 shawnrome 11 November, 2014, 20:32

    Cali is awesome, and san diego is the shit. Then to have LA and north cali are all in reach. Plus Cali is therapeutic. the sights and living are far better than most places in the USA. I had a bad breakup and had to navigate my way after but honestly this is the best place to get over someone if you have to lol. At the same time being close to family and loved ones has its own benefits. Im ok being far away from my family and im young. I just concentrate on my business and do other stuff to stay busy. Im sure it will work out for you.

  7. Robert C.
    #7 Robert C. 11 November, 2014, 20:32

    Also, you should stay at your new home when you need to relax your mind and clear your thoughts and go the the cities when you doing business and meeting up with your family. When I stayed in the mountains in Roanoke, VA. I loved every minute of it, just being out there with nature and just feeling good about having a clear mind. You know, at night, it’s the best time to sort things out and to get past obstacles in life. You also could have two homes, one in San Diego, and the other one in ATL.

  8. Nahmsain
    #8 Nahmsain 11 November, 2014, 20:33

    I would say hell emphatic yes, but $810 USD/Month for internet is some BULL CRAP

  9. pb78234
    #9 pb78234 11 November, 2014, 20:43

    I think you may be too far from civilization. Good restaurants and convenient shopping,not too mention a fast reliable internet connection. The other homes you were in seemed to make you happy and you had no remorse. If you have the option maybe you need to keep looking. I liked the original “struggle mansion” LOL

  10. mrosmondw
    #10 mrosmondw 11 November, 2014, 20:46

    My boy is a brother that lives on a hill in Acton, CA and in a gated house with a narrow road leading up to his front door. He absolutely loves it because the city view at night is real serene and calms his nerves after selling real estate all day. I think your house could do the same for you, plus in a couple of years if you don’t like it I’m sure you could sell it for a profit given the way the market is going back up. Give it at least two years, I’m sure you will like it after you get used to it. P.S. my boys says his biggest problem with living in his house is to get women to leave after spending time up there!

  11. Nahmsain
    #11 Nahmsain 11 November, 2014, 20:48

    I would say hell emphatic yes, but $810 USD/Month for slow internet is some BULL CRAP

  12. carterkerrie
    #12 carterkerrie 11 November, 2014, 20:48

    Hey Tommy it all depends on how you feel? I know that you would like to get some feed back from us at Sotonation. But in all,it is really about how you feel and where you want and need to be.
    Trust me I have been where you are at now and I know that you feel like you have been used and your heart has been torn out of you chest and eaten right in front of you.I went threw something similar to what you are going threw now but only 100 times worse.For me,I had to get away and I mean a long ways away so that I can clear my head and find my direction.Right now Tommy you can not see the forest for the trees because you have lost your direction.You need to climb the highest tree or find the highest peak to pear out and regain your direction.I say that to say this,Tommy take some time out for yourself and heal my brother.And if it takes for you to get far away than I say do what you think is best for Tommy.You know Tommy we have never met and we have never spoke.But I can say that you are a long lost brother to me.I have been riding with you when you began this you tube thing.And I have seen all the BS that you have had to endure for years now.
    Love is a son of a bitch and we have all been there for the good times and the bad times.Tommy it is okay to get away and regroup brother trust me this is what men do.Look Tommy if you need someone to talk to you with more wisdom and knowledge about life if you like you can speak with my father.Trust me,I seek out his knowledge my whole life.If you like to speak with him just let me know and I will see if he can fit you into his schedule.I love you like a brother Tommy.Take care and always do what is in Tommy’s best interest okay.Hope this helps.

  13. TheLWebb100
    #13 TheLWebb100 11 November, 2014, 20:50

    What up Tommy. I’d say look for a different place that’s closer to civilization. With you going through a bad breakup you don’t need to much time to yourself. Find a smaller place possibly where you won’t feel so isolated and alone. 810 a month for internet? That’s crazy, keep your head up man we’re all rooting for you.

  14. J. Jermane
    #14 J. Jermane 11 November, 2014, 21:11

    Nice crib and all, but I just couldn’t fathom paying $800 for that internet service! But hey, if you can afford it, do you brother! Personally, I would get out of California because I heard bad things about that state (water crisis, bad economy) just to name a few.

  15. SteelEvol
    #15 SteelEvol 11 November, 2014, 21:12

    I would stay. It would give you a chance to re learn who you are not only as a man but as a person. I think the main problem is that you let the BS run your life instead of you running your life. And this is coming from first hand experience. It won’t be easy. You will spend many nights in tears. And that’s okay. Part of the rejuvenation process. Eventually you will discover that what you are doing is logical, and correct. The focus needs to be on you and your little one, right now. Bottom line, what ever decision you make, make it for you not us. We as fans and supporters will always be there with and for you as long as you will have us.

  16. OLUJA
    #16 OLUJA 11 November, 2014, 21:22

    Isolation is dangerous but if u can get someone to live with u it would be better also ,…no cable!? Why?

  17. Ramon144
    #17 Ramon144 11 November, 2014, 21:24

    I went through some shit like this 2009. I had to move away from the “situation” and i virtually moved into the place I’m in here with nothing but the clothes on my back an a yellow duffle bag with some drawers and personal papers. i know it’s hard, but try to embrace the opportunity to start anew. You might be a little too isolated out there in the middle of nowhere though so you might consider somewhere a little more populated for some form of human interaction. I got my biggest boost from complete strangers when my d**k was knocked in the dirt by a tricky ass broad…

  18. priceless
    #18 priceless 11 November, 2014, 21:31

    Tommy your house is beautiful but that’s all it is… it is not your home and deep inside you feel the same way that’s why you put it up for debate. Go home, be around your daughter and those who know the real you.. before the fame. Get back to being about business. Marry your business. It’s ok to be single the right woman is going to be there and she will love you more then you know.
    Then you will have the home that you desire. A house is just a house when there is no love nor happiness in it.

  19. kiwikate
    #19 kiwikate 11 November, 2014, 21:34

    Making major financial decisions like buying a house needs a mind that is clear of all big stumbling blocks. If you are not in the correct frame of mind, then it might be best to say NO at this point in time. Yes, it is a great looking place, but with what you have been saying lately with regard to your state of mind, socialization is a major part to your recovery of this. It seems you will be very isolated out there and with no reasonably priced internet, your show, which seems to help you greatly is something you need to keep in mind. I found when I went through a period of true clinical depression, the one thing that helped me was being around good people, and the strange thing was I thought it would be to my advantage to be by myself as I do enjoy my own company. It was not until I started to socialize again, did I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes.

  20. nostraquarius
    #20 nostraquarius 11 November, 2014, 21:34

    I have 3000sf and I have to flush my toilets on a schedule because they never get used. And I think I have been upstairs maybe 5x this year.

    I like the acreage and the views, but homie you are from the A. Y’all got real trees and woods out there. What you gonna do with all that desert…dessert? f*ck idk.

    I say get a F450 and a Heartland Big Country 5th wheel and ride out.

  21. Stylgetto
    #21 Stylgetto 11 November, 2014, 21:34

    Well on one hand a lil solo time is what you may need. And have you looked into satellite tv and internet service. But perhaps you may need to be around family. So if I were you I wold move just a tad closer too fam but still a distance away from anything that may cause more harm than good.

  22. atl-dlthomas76
    #22 atl-dlthomas76 11 November, 2014, 21:48

    i think you should do what you feel brother. ive been depressed for about four going on five years now so i know the feelings you have. you want love an happiness . you just need to ignore the negativity of people that don’t know you and pay attention to people who love and support you. maybe its time to for you to meditate ,relax, and recharge and come out swinging hard. much love and respect. derrick

  23. sethtriggs
    #23 sethtriggs 11 November, 2014, 22:01

    Distance is nice, but you might actually like to be around people too. That said, it is a nice place.

  24. Dwimmerlaik
    #24 Dwimmerlaik 11 November, 2014, 22:59

    Too far out in the country man. Come to Austin Texas instead!

  25. Selene
    #25 Selene 11 November, 2014, 23:14

    Tommy, I used to live in a 5 level 6900 square foot house surrounded by 105 totally wooded acres with a 8 acre private lake. 2 ponds, and a river that ran around the entire property. It was kinds like an Island, as you had to go over a bridge (that had a waterfall next to it) on the 2 track 1 1/2 mile driveway just to get to the house. I LOVED IT!

    Here’s the thing. I am an introvert and love nature. It was a bitch to get out of the property in the winter, garbage had to be driven to the end of the driveway, no gas lines could be ran because of all the waterways, so I had geothermal heat (2 furnaces!), the whole house was electric, well water, and it cost $4600 to have cable and internet ran to the house. Let’s not even go there about cleaning the place!These were the cons.

    The pro’s for me were the privacy, the views, the outdoor life, my gardens, fruit tree’s, etc. You could be totally self sufficient and off the grid if you wanted. It was my dream.

    I don’t regret buying it, but did give it to my ex in the divorce. When we bought it, it was what we had been working for our entire married life, at that time we had been married 22 years, and really bought it on emotion only, we finally had the dream. Unfortunately, our marriage had really been over for about 13 years.

    Think hard about what is really important to you. You can always buy another house, don’t make decisions with a broken heart and mind, it can make things worse.

    • nostraquarius
      nostraquarius 12 November, 2014, 19:30


      TJ, this comment section is some bullshit!

      Dang Selene…22 years and then divorced? It at least seems like if you had children they were probably old enough to understand.

      How are doing now? What inspires you to follow Tommy?

    • ClaytonMSLPC
      ClaytonMSLPC 13 November, 2014, 08:18

      My same thoughts….

  26. Marty Reagan
    #26 Marty Reagan 12 November, 2014, 01:46

    If you lose your life, what have you gained? You’re very isolated & quite hated by some who totally disagree with you about a lot! And you can’t sleep with one eye open! Any ill-willed people by now know they can take you out with no repercussions and basically no worry of being caught. Your life is social and other media. There are MILLIONS of domiciles for you to inhabit. Yes it’s impressive, but not if you’re dead. If you have 48 hours to finalize–tell them, “Thanks but HELL NAW! I gotta go!” And start looking again. It’ll be fun & you can find gated/guarded/private somewhere. Hey–YOU are the one who made yourself hated by speaking what you feel & what we want to see & hear. So now you must pay the price & live carefully…We care about you…

  27. Marty Reagan
    #27 Marty Reagan 12 November, 2014, 01:51

    I wrote a long-ass intelligent comment & hit the button below, POST A COMMENT & it didn’t happen. Not writing it again. My point was GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. You’re well-hated & many would like to see you dead. You’re making it easy for haters to end you. It’s quite impressive there but your life is more important than living impressively…

  28. drexy
    #28 drexy 12 November, 2014, 03:39

    If you’re the kinda of person who buys something to make themselves feel better(because depression) than no you shouldn’t buy it

  29. radman20
    #29 radman20 12 November, 2014, 03:46

    Miss your opinions on things Tommy but get yourself together man. Relationships are hard but it gets better with time and when you ready someone new.

  30. farah
    #30 farah 12 November, 2014, 04:53

    Hi Tommy, i think you should go. A house is not a home and at a time like this, you need a home, not grandeur and scenic views. The most beautiful place in the world can be the loneliest without people to love or, just provide you with positive vibes.
    why don’t you go on a retreat, do a group holiday or plan to attend a series of summer festivals outside the US.
    I live in London, haven’t been to the states but travelling to other countries and meeting new people from all walks of life, backgrounds, and cultures restored my faith in humanity.
    there are truly more good people out there than bad.

    Good luck xx xx

  31. Skott72
    #31 Skott72 12 November, 2014, 08:42

    this is for fucking holidayz man. As beautiful as the house is, it´s to far away from everything. Lame internet access sucks.
    Try to stay a month and get the hell out of there.
    Just my 2 cents
    Have a nice one

    yours Skott72

  32. leofyah
    #32 leofyah 12 November, 2014, 10:57


  33. onescustomsfigures
    #33 onescustomsfigures 12 November, 2014, 12:13

    The man in me says get women and drink and party but you cant trust anyone so thats difficult and I would say just go home but I feel if It were me in you’re shoes I would feel defeated the whole way back because who wants to just go home. I say stay in San Diego but downgrade your living a tad and its too much house for one dude it will get extra lonely.

  34. jperriatt
    #34 jperriatt 12 November, 2014, 19:00

    I think you buy/rent as second home. If you can afford to, have both homes.

  35. dontgetrobbedagain
    #35 dontgetrobbedagain 12 November, 2014, 20:01

    I think you should stay Tommy 🙂

  36. mommywalker
    #36 mommywalker 12 November, 2014, 21:03

    Stay start over fresh. Go out and mingle. Enjoy the change the views nature at its finest.

  37. Mike.8x
    #37 Mike.8x 12 November, 2014, 23:38

    if the place makes you FEEL GOOD then STAY I still think you would have been better off in PHX only 3 hot months 🙂 but there are plenty of “sweet distractions” especially in Scottsdale.

  38. Rob Base
    #38 Rob Base 13 November, 2014, 15:24

    Go back to the ‘love of your life’ and at least have a conversation and try to remain mutually respectful of one another. Then move the hell on……

  39. LauraDenise
    #39 LauraDenise 14 November, 2014, 20:14

    Tommy, I think you are too much of a social guy to stay happy there for long.
    You want a 5 star restaurant 15 minutes away, pizza and calzones at the door, and city lights out your window.
    The pain of losing your love will not fade with that beautiful house, because you’ll yearn for her to be there to share it all the more.
    The only way around heartbreak, is through it.
    Time fades the pain, and staying busy helps.

  40. John B
    #40 John B 21 November, 2014, 22:25

    Well now that you’ve been to both places what’s your conclusion? I have nothing against either LA or Phoenix but that bill might be the difference. I’m team PHX because of accessibilities of many things.

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